The Feelings Book: The Care & Keeping of Your Emotions by Dr. Lynda Madison

★★★

After reading The Care & Keeping of You 1: The Body Book for Younger Girls, I had really high hopes for this book. It was good, but I'm afraid it wasn't everything that I had hoped for.

It's worth noting that this book briefly mentions PMS, so it's probably best read after a book like The Care & Keeping of You 1: The Body Book for Younger Girls, which introduces the concept of menstruation.

On the plus side, the book helps to normalize the many emotions a growing girl might be feeling. I like that it is explicit about how your emotions will affect your behavior, and your behavior will affect how other people react to you. You need to make sure you are exhibiting the actual emotions you feel; if you just act angry, other people - and yourself - won't understand or address the actual emotions you may be feeling, which may be embarrassment, disappointment, or shame.

The book has several chapters talking about emotions in general. Specific emotions are addressed in the following sections:

I'm Scared

I Feel Anxious

I'm So Jealous

I've Been Disrespected

I'm Angry

I'm Lonely

I'm Really Sad

I'm Grieving

I Don't Feel Safe

Much of the book is formatted like an advice column, with questions outlining particular scenarios and answers providing specific tips and strategies. In many ways, the Q & A format was a good thing, because it made a lot of the emotions seem relatable. There were common scenarios like, "I'm scared to sleep alone at night," "I'm jealous that my sister is in my cousin's wedding, but I'm not," and "My parents are divorced, and every time I stay with one of them, I miss the other one." On the other hand, however, I'm a bit concerned that some of the scenarios might actually introduce fears that my daughter never considered before. For example, in the "I Don't Feel Safe" chapter, there were scenarios like, "I worry about school shootings," and "My house burned down last month, and I'm afraid our new house will burn down, too."

Along the same lines, I'm afraid the book might introduce some additional concepts that maybe my child isn't ready for. In the "I'm Really Sad" chapter, there is a section listing "Signs of Depression", and one of them is "think[ing] a lot about death or suicide". It does not define suicide, and I'm not even sure if my daughter knows what "suicide" is, but if she doesn't, I'm not sure if this is the best way to introduce it. Maybe it is, because it's safely confined in a book about emotions? I don't know. I need to think about it a some more while I decide whether or not to have my daughter read this book.

It might also be helpful for a parent previewing this book for a child to know that this book does mention the idea of "seeking professional help," going on to explain what therapists, psychologists, and psychiatrists do.

Mostly, I'm disappointed that, despite touching upon embarrassment early in the book, there is no chapter titled, "I Feel Embarrassed." After anger, I feel like my daughter is most affected by unnecessary feelings of embarrassment.

Also, in the "I've Been Disrespected" chapter - which is basically about being bullied - I don't think the answers are entirely realistic. Of course it advocates using words to solve the problem, but it suggests saying things like, "I'd like to find a way for us to get along." I'm sorry, I just think that in the real world, if kids used language like that with a bully, it would be met with laughter and eye-rolling. I am all for having children work out their own problems, however, when it comes to bullying, I don't think this section emphasized enough the importance of letting the teacher know that bullying is occurring among classmates.

The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You by Elaine Aron

★★★½

A good friend of mine recently introduced me to the idea of "Highly Sensitive People" (or HSP), and I wish I had heard of this term before! This book was published in 1996, so the idea has been around for a while. I just think I could have saved myself from a lot of self-doubt and frustration over the years if I had known that being "this way" is a "thing".

The author writes in the first person, even including some anecdotes about herself. Reading this book feels like I'm sitting through a seminar - informative but also informal.

On the plus side, it was something of a relief to read about this trait. A lot of what is written resonated with me and made me feel better about myself. So I'm not a total weirdo! There are other people out there like me, and they do know just how I feel about certain situations! My dislike for shopping and my anxiety over things potentially going wrong (because I fear the logistical headache of sorting out things like car accidents and mis-communications) can all be explained by my being an HSP.

For me, the book helped shed light on the fact that American society tends to favor non-HSP traits (e.g., "warrior king" leadership qualities like ambition and boldness), but that HSP-related traits (e.g., "royal advisor" qualities like thoughtfulness and cautiousness) are also valuable. It was reassuring to see my emotions - and my personality type - validated, and helpful to get specific suggestions on how to cope with difficult situations and how to re-frame situations to better understand myself and my reactions. Besides the bit about warrior kings and royal advisors, probably the most relevant information for me was chapter 6 on vocations - figuring how what kind of job or career is best suited for you, and why. I recognized a lot of what was written in my own personal work experience - both in terms of being a stay-at-home mom now and also when I used to work in the software consulting industry.

Still, not everything in the book spoke to me. The book's early chapters talk about HSP-ness being both innate and learned, but I thought it focused too much on trying to place "blame" somewhere. For example, on page 47, it says, "Perhaps you had an overprotective, needy caretaker who really wanted a child very dependent and never able to leave." Then on page 51, "You'll want to think long and hard about who gave you this feeling in childhood, and why." The impression I got is that the author thinks a good portion of HSP-ness is caused by bad parenting, and every HSP would benefit from psychotherapy to understand the root of their HSP-ness. This is especially difficult to swallow if you are a thoughtful parent trying to understand your highly sensitive child. Certainly there is a spectrum of HSP-ness, and maybe some people's HSP-ness was caused by childhood trauma. However, for myself, I don't think it's anyone's "fault" that I am the way I am; I consider it more of an inborn trait that has been reinforced over time (partly by my own behavior and partly by the expectations of American society).

Overall, a worthwhile read. This HSP trait overlaps enough with introversion that I have finally decided to add Susan Cain's Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking - which was recommended to me years ago - to my to-read list. Also, it makes me want to bump up in my queue Viktor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning, which was mentioned in this book.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005)

★★★★

The opening scenes had a very Tim Burton feel, and I admit, I was wary. In the book, Willy Wonka's factory was mysterious, yes, but in the movie, there was also a kind of darkness about it, almost as if it was sinister in some way. Also, I expected Willy Wonka to be exuberant and jovial, but in the movie, he was mostly eccentric and wacky.

Still, Johnny Depp's portrayal grew on me. The visuals were impressive, and in many ways, the movie was delightful. I particularly appreciated Willy Wonka's various one-liners.

Interestingly, even while the movie adhered closely to the book, it also added to it in ways that I thought were meaningful. I liked the way the movie expanded on the faults of two of the children. Violet Beauregard didn't just chew gum, she was arrogant and cared only for winning. Mike Teavee didn't just watch a lot of TV, he was was disrespectful and violent.

Also, Willy Wonka was given a sad childhood with a strict and candy-forbidding father. I wasn't sure about it at first, but I loved the way it all came together in the end.

Treasure Hunters in Trouble (An Unofficial Gamer's Adventure #4) by Winter Morgan

★★★

More of the same. Typos persist. (On page 9, it uses the word "griefer" when I'm pretty sure it means "creeper".) Steve makes more new friends, and someone learns a lesson about doing the right thing and not being a griefer.

In this book, a gang of "rainbow griefers" have captured Henry, Lucy, and Max. Kyra and Steve and a couple new friends set out to save them. The premise is good, but then the story gets totally sidetracked as the group goes treasure hunting along the way. It just seemed like, if your friends are in trouble, shouldn't you help them first, and do your treasure hunting later?! Steve did try to keep everyone on track, but he kept getting voted down.

Minecraft Roundup

A good beginner's chapter book series for boys, or for any elementary school kids who like Minecraft. It would be even better if it had illustrations, but I wonder if the fact that it is "unauthorized" has anything to do with the lack of illustrations.

• The Quest for the Diamond Sword (#1) ★★★
• The Mystery of the Griefer's Mark (#2) ★★★½
• The Endermen Invasion (#3) ★★★
• Treasure Hunters in Trouble (#4) ★★★

The Endermen Invasion (An Unofficial Gamer's Adventure #3) by Winter Morgan

★★★

Three books into the series, and there are still minor, distracting editing errors, e.g., page 43 refers to "Ender Peals" instead of "Ender Pearls".

This book takes Steve into new biomes, and I liked the premise of Steve competing in an invitation-only building contest. I even found the series of battles rather exciting! Unfortunately, any fresh new ideas that would have led me to a higher star rating were cancelled out by the blatant recycling of the main conflict in the second book. Specifically, a griefer is causing a lot of trouble, and everyone is blaming Steve. His friends defend him, but he needs to figure out who the real griefer is in order to clear his name.

Overall, a fitting continuation of the series. The take-away lesson in this installment seems to be, "It's too bad if things don't work out for you, especially if they do work out for your friend, but try not to begrudge your friends their successes, and instead, try to be happy for them."

The Care & Keeping of You 1: The Body Book for Younger Girls by Valorie Lee Schaefer

★★★★★

This book is fantastic. It's not just about the breasts and bras and period part of puberty. There are sections on braces, acne, and underarms, as well as nutrition, sleep, fitness, and hair care. There are even sections on dental hygiene and using sun screen. By presenting the "things that will change about you" topics alongside the "things that you probably already know about your body" topics, the former topics come across as perfectly normal and nothing to be ashamed or scared about.

I think it helps, too, that this is an "American Girl" book. Whether or not you're an American Girl fan, the branding helps to give the book a familiar, non-threatening feel.

Both Isabelle and I read this book - separately - in basically one sitting. It's a quick and easy read, consisting of short paragraphs and plenty of colorful text and illustrations. Maybe some potential readers would find it important to know that the illustrations do include drawings of what breasts might look like at various stages of development, as well drawings that depict "How to Use a Pad". Is that TMI? Some people might balk or be shocked at those illustrations, however, I found them to be in good taste, and their matter-of-fact existence helps take away any sense of mystery around those topics.

I liked that the book presented options without judgement. For example, on page 42, it says this about underarm hair: "Some girls don't like it. Others aren't bothered by it one little bit. Whether you want to remove it or leave it there is a very personal decision."

Also, the book is good about promoting healthy attitudes towards all body shapes and sizes. On page 54, it says, "No one body type is better or worse than another. All can be fit, healthy, and beautiful."

Finally, both Isabelle and I liked that each chapter ended with a Q & A formatted like an advice column. There are questions addressing specific concerns, and most answers involve some amount of, "What you're feeling is perfectly normal. Be sure to talk about your concerns with a parent or other trusted adult."

I would definitely recommend this book for anyone who is not sure how to start talking about puberty with their young daughter!

The Familiars Roundup

A fun and entertaining series set in a magical world full of interesting places and imaginative creatures. Kind of like Harry Potter meets Warriors, except the world in which this series takes place is entirely made up.

This series is well-written and tells a good story. But like both Harry Potter and Warriors, the intended audience of the series may not be best judged by the first book, as subsequent books introduce more potentially disturbing ideas like death, murder, and betrayal.

• The Familiars (#1) ★★★★
• Secrets of the Crown (#2) ★★★★★
• Circle of Heroes (#3) ★★★★
• Palace of Dreams (#4) ★★★★

The Mystery of the Griefer's Mark (An Unofficial Gamer's Adventure #2) by Winter Morgan

★★★½

Very similar to the first book, and basically everything I said about that book applies to this one as well; the writing lacks style, some events in the book don't actually conform to the rules of the Minecraft world, and though the editing wasn't as poor in this book, I did make note of one error on page 11: "And why did show up here..."

Still, again, I have to give the book credit for keeping Sebastien interested in reading. He LOVED this book. I do wish he'd read these books himself, but I guess me reading them aloud to him is the next best thing. I did appreciate that this book had fewer explanatory sentences that simply described elements of the game, and the plot was relatively strong. Someone - a "griefer" - is destroying everyone's property, and Steve and his friends are trying to figure out who it is! I'll admit, it was kind of exciting, and somewhat suspenseful. I'm not sure the ending was entirely satisfying, but questions did get answered, and there's a take-away lesson about friendships and acceptable behavior.

Palace of Dreams (The Familiars #4) by Adam Jay Epstein & Andrew Jacobson

★★★★½

I gave this book just shy of 5 stars because of a few things that didn't sit right with me for a book that is supposed to be geared towards readers in upper elementary grades. Early on, there was a grim depiction of suicide, though the word "suicide" was not used. Also, it appears this volume has a different illustrator than the other volumes, and though I wasn't crazy about the illustrations in the first three books, I'm not crazy about these, either. I think they are better in quality, but more often than not, the pictures are scary. I don't know how it's decided which scenes get illustrated, but I would have preferred a few less frightening scenes!

Otherwise, I really enjoyed this book. Once again, the Prophesized Three are on a quest, and this time, there is more urgency than ever. I liked that in this installment, there seemed to be more cases in which Aldwyn, Gilbert, and Skylar had to use their wits to solve problems, rather than just relying on their magic.

The book ends on a cliffhanger, so clearly a fifth book should be in the works. Can't wait!